When I started this blog a month ago it seemed like it would be a good way to keep myself accountable to my aspiration of writing. My goal was one post per week. I got to three for three and dropped the ball.
I thought about writing something last week (I know that doesn't count) but I was at odds with myself and the world, couldn't maintain focus, couldn't land on a theme, yadda yadda yadda.
If I've gained any wisdom and/or learned anything about myself since I started to feel grown up enough to even use the word wisdom, it's that this is the critical time for me: right here, right now. This is the place in which I've given up on one too many diets, exercise programs, plans for better self discipline, books, creative projects. The list goes on. I start strong, go for a little while, get to a hard place, miss a step, give up. OR...
Acknowledge that I took a week off, shrug and recommit myself to the goal, and start fresh today.
Years ago I was lying in bed, feeling fat, out-of-shape and sorry for my flabby self. As I gradually came out of my self-indulgent daydreamy state, I realized that I was actually staring at our NordicTrac and it was almost screaming to me, saying, "I'm right here, you idiot! The solution to your doldrums is about 10 steps away. Get up out of bed and come over here and move for 20 minutes."
DUH.
In a brief but significant Aha moment, I learned something that day that for the most part has stuck, which is: usually the situation is not as complicated as I'm making it out to be, usually the answer is right under my nose, and usually it involves getting out of bed and doing something.
So here I am, back at the keyboard. I missed a week, but I'm writing now. In the past week I've looked forward to reading two of my favorite columnists in the local paper, only to find their photos and the announcement that they were" taking the week off." I guesss if it's ok for Nicole Brodeur and Ron Judd to do once in awhile, it's ok for me, too.
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1 comment:
Good for you mom! Your realization and resiliency reminds me of an "aha" I have recently stumbled upon which is that we get to decide and choose what we want to do/don't want to do, even when that decision is one being made in reaction to something self imposed. You can choose to change, move, take a week off, come back, put cream in your coffee, wear your PJ's all day, take a job, sleep in, etc. I know it all sounds a little obvious but it is ground breaking for me.
Glad to have you back in the blogosphere. Keep blogging - I can't wait to read the next one.
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